feelings

Houston, we have a crisis!

11:58 PM

            Personality crisis may refer to: existential crisis, identity crisis (undeveloped or confused identity), midlife crisis, a Canadian punk rock group…or so wikipedia says. How something means different kinds of something I just don’t understand. Anyway, how is yours doing?

            Mine is doing swell, never been better. Now really, I feel like I’m wasting my creativity and an intense urge to expand it bothers my little brain. And I think I’ve believed having some personality traits that were more or less wrong (hence the personality crisis)  and I’ve denied having some – like my visual abilities ( not as in look at me, I’m so pretty kind of way).  I mean, you’re supposed to get to know yourself and stuff, but depending on the situation, you can leave with the impression that you are good at something, right before the shit storm that fucks up your perspective.

            Damn, instagram is so distracting…

            Like maybe you thought “hey, I’m good with math, let’s do math for a living”. And after years of work, your brain tells you “dude, I mean you are good, but it’s not really what you like…and you’re actually not as good as you think you are. have you ever considered being an athlete?”. And your immediate response would be “ain’t nobody got time for that. I was busy learning math because you told me this is what you’re good at, choose a career already, maybe you don’t have any other skills – you shithead”. Then, you obviously start questioning all you’ve done so far, thinking you might have been the best athlete, but it’s too late for that and you have to settle for something you don’t even know you like. Or maybe you do. Do I smell confusion?

            It’ true that you can be good at many things, but an expert just at one? And if so, how do you choose? Because it’s not like you wake up one day and just know it (unless you’re my hairstylist who found his calling). Maybe there’s a way you can mix your “talents” and create something unique that will give you the greatest satisfaction, or just setting time-based objectives to develop every one of them, sequentially, so you don’t have to choose. Truth is, I love my mathematical/logical skills and I also love the art-oriented part of me. So given this theory I either combine the two or just make time for each one, individually. For something like that, 24 hours don’t seem like enough, plus there’s the problem that having information without taking action is like dust in the wind (procrastinators know best).

            All in all, you may wanna make peace with your brain, write down what you want, constantly, as quantifiable as possible and let him sort the thoughts and drive to somewhere you actually desire and maybe never thought of before. Every crisis has a solution (and probably a make-belief cause) and we just have to get our mind to work and solve it on our own terms. Align the planets, move mountains, feed your brain only  with (positive) information that you prefer and make the best of your abilities to reach your goals and discover yourself. You can so easily trick your mind to do what you want it to do and make your subconscious find your way around the world, that maybe 25 hours a day are not fiction after all.




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