Personality crisis may refer to: existential crisis,
identity crisis (undeveloped or confused identity), midlife crisis, a Canadian
punk rock group…or so wikipedia says. How something means different kinds of
something I just don’t understand. Anyway, how is yours doing?
Mine is doing swell, never been better. Now really, I
feel like I’m wasting my creativity and an intense urge to expand it bothers my
little brain. And I think I’ve believed having some personality traits that
were more or less wrong (hence the personality crisis) and I’ve denied having some – like my visual
abilities ( not as in look at me, I’m so pretty kind of way). I mean, you’re supposed to get to know
yourself and stuff, but depending on the situation, you can leave with the
impression that you are good at something, right before the shit storm that
fucks up your perspective.
Damn, instagram is so distracting…
Like maybe you thought “hey, I’m good with math, let’s
do math for a living”. And after years of work, your brain tells you “dude, I
mean you are good, but it’s not really what you like…and you’re actually not as
good as you think you are. have you ever considered being an athlete?”. And
your immediate response would be “ain’t nobody got time for that. I was busy
learning math because you told me this is what you’re good at, choose a career
already, maybe you don’t have any other skills – you shithead”. Then, you
obviously start questioning all you’ve done so far, thinking you might have
been the best athlete, but it’s too late for that and you have to settle for
something you don’t even know you like. Or maybe you do. Do I smell confusion?
It’ true that you can be good at many things, but an
expert just at one? And if so, how do you choose? Because it’s not like you
wake up one day and just know it (unless you’re my hairstylist who found his
calling). Maybe there’s a way you can mix your “talents” and create something
unique that will give you the greatest satisfaction, or just setting time-based
objectives to develop every one of them, sequentially, so you don’t have to
choose. Truth is, I love my mathematical/logical skills and I also love the
art-oriented part of me. So given this theory I either combine the two or just
make time for each one, individually. For something like that, 24 hours don’t
seem like enough, plus there’s the problem that having information without
taking action is like dust in the wind (procrastinators know best).
All in all, you may wanna make peace with your brain,
write down what you want, constantly, as quantifiable as possible and let him sort the thoughts and drive to somewhere you actually desire and maybe never
thought of before. Every crisis has a solution (and probably a make-belief
cause) and we just have to get our mind to work and solve it on our own terms. Align
the planets, move mountains, feed your brain only with (positive) information that you prefer
and make the best of your abilities to reach your goals and discover yourself.
You can so easily trick your mind to do what you want it to do and make your
subconscious find your way around the world, that maybe 25 hours a day are not
fiction after all.
